A few years ago, a pastor at Covenant Life Church (Chris Silard) proposed twenty questions to help his church care for one another. I have found them helpful in spiritual conversations, and I hope you will too. Print them out and stick them in your Bible or on your desk. Obviously, you wouldn’t strap someone down and burn through the whole list, but one or two of them in our conversations can help us make our way towards more meaningful and helpful relationships.
Twenty Questions to Help Me Care for Others
1. What has God been doing in your life recently?
2. How are you doing in spending consistent time with God?
3. What is the most meaningful thing that has happened to you since we last talked?
4. Can I share these observations of God’s grace in your life?
5. What observations do you have about my role in my marriage or parenting?
6. What has God been teaching you about? What are you studying?
7. What are you doing to attack sin?
8. How can I pray for you?
9. Any fears you have? Any other areas of temptation?
10. Are you discouraged about anything?
11. In what area do you find that your spiritual life or pursuit of growth is difficult?
12. What do you feel is going well in your spiritual life?
13. How is your area of serving in the church going? Is there something else you would like
to do to serve the church?
14. What are the desires and passions of your heart for the future?
15. (For a spouse) How is our fellowship with others? How could your fellowship with other
women, mine with other men, or ours with our children be better?
16. How can I help you grow, spiritually; practically; or relationally?
17. What is the most important decision facing you in the near future?
18. What is the biggest challenge in your life right now?
19. Have you read anything recently that has helped you spiritually?
20. What excites you about God’s work in our church right now?
You can download a PDF here.
Recently I’ve been thinking more and more about our responsibility towards one another as described in Galatians 6:1-2. This morning I read a helpful article by Pastor Mark Driscoll about the difference between concern and responsibility, loads and burdens. In other words, when we are concerned about someone, how should that concerned be expressed? What does it look like? When should our concern move from deep compassion about their situation to taking some responsibility for their burden? And what burdens should we be expected to carry in relationship with one another? Does the Bible mandate that we carry every burden, and if so, to what degree?
Here is an excerpt from the article. I encourage you to read the rest of it.
As a Christian, we should lovingly and sincerely have concern for many people and their many circumstances. Our hearts should ache for the pain and trouble that others experience in life. This concern should compel us to speak truth into their life, which can include everything from pointing out sin to giving wise counsel, and intercede for them before God in prayer.
Still, as a Christian we cannot take responsibility for everyone and everything for which we have concern. As finite beings, there is only so much we can do and we must discern whom God has called us to help and how God has called us to help them. When we take responsibility for people and things we ought not, we are sinning by taking off someone’s shoulders a load God has called them to carry and sinning against our own health, family, and priorities by offering to carry it for them.
Ray Ortlund has a great post on why we should show our love for God’s Kingdom by loving and serving His body, the local church.
“My passion isn’t to build up my church. My passion is for God’s Kingdom.”
Ever heard someone say that? I have. It sounds large-hearted, but it’s wrong. It can even be destructive.
Suppose I said, “My passion isn’t to build up my marriage. My passion is for Marriage. I want the institution of Marriage to be revered again. I’ll work for that. I’ll pray for that. I’ll sacrifice for that. But don’t expect me to hunker down in the humble daily realities of building a great marriage with my wife Jani. I’m aiming at something grander.”
If I said that, would you think, “Wow, Ray is so committed”? Or would you wonder if I had lost my mind?
If you care about the Kingdom, be the kind of person who can be counted on in your own church. Join your church, pray for your church, tithe to your church, participate in your church every Sunday with wholehearted passion.
We build great churches the same way we build great marriages — real commitment that makes a positive difference every day.
If you’re in the world but not of the world, that’s good. If you’re in the church but not of the church, that’s bad.
This past Sunday morning we had as many as twelve leadership and assistant spots to fill in our preschool and children’s ministry. Today we only have four! Praise the Lord! My heart is rejoicing at the faithfulness of God to mobilize His sons and daughters into action for the glory of His name and the good of His people.
